Teaching friendship skills helps children build social, emotional, and communication abilities needed to form meaningful relationships, improve interactions, and navigate social situations with confidence.
Teaching friendship skills focuses on building behavioral interaction skills such as sharing, taking turns, showing good sportsmanship, and asking peers to play appropriately. However, learning to be a friend involves a great deal more than learning behavioral interaction skills. It is also important to learn and develop perspective taking skills, emotion awareness and management skills, and conversation skills. Friendships are developed and maintained through conversations, seeking things in common with peers, showing interest in peer’s experiences and thoughts, and creating shared experiences and memories with a peer. Further, a friendship will not progress if a child does not understand gradations of emotions and how to respond appropriately and manage their own emotions.
In order to help children develop and maintain healthy friendships, it is critical to incorporate activities that build social cognitive skills, as well as the behavioral skills. Social cognitive skills help children understand why social behaviors are important to their peers and other individuals. Social cognitive skills create the foundation for helping children understand that people are always thinking about other people when they interact. Michelle Garcia Winner, SLP, is a pioneer in understanding and addressing social cognitive skills. The name of her flagship book, Thinking about You, Thinking about Me, encompasses the notion of social cognition and describes the basis of social interaction and relationship building.
Social interactions are not a static or segmented process. Instead these interactions entail subtle, reciprocal interchanges where friends continually assess how one’s own behavior is being perceived by others and adjusting accordingly. There are countless nonverbal rules and expectations, rapid perspective taking requirements, and a demand to socially filter what is communicated to peers continuously. Children with social interaction skills deficits often lack this intuitive social thinking process of aiming to please and attend to peers in their interactions. Rather, their conversations and relationships are often one-sided or superficial in nature.
These children have difficulty recognizing the subtle nuances of nonverbal communication and are unaware of unwritten social rules. Lastly, these children often have difficulty dampening or managing their own emotions when facing the unpredictability of the social world. It is for these reasons that an approach to increasing social competence should incorporate all aspects of social pragmatic communication development: perspective taking, emotion awareness and expression, nonverbal communication awareness, and conversational skills.
Conclusion
Teaching friendship skills goes far beyond simple behavioral training—it requires a comprehensive approach that addresses the deeper, more nuanced aspects of human interaction. While sharing, taking turns, and showing good sportsmanship lay an important foundation, true friendships are built on understanding others’ perspectives, managing emotions, and engaging in meaningful conversations. Children need opportunities to practice these skills in real-life contexts, with guidance that helps them reflect on their own behaviors and consider the thoughts and feelings of their peers.
At New Horizons Wellness Services, our team offers a range of support to help children and individuals develop the core abilities needed to form meaningful connections. Through our Counseling Services, we help children and families explore emotional awareness and social thinking in a therapeutic setting, fostering better self-understanding and peer relationships. Our Occupational Therapy Services support both children and adults in building the practical and emotional regulation skills necessary for navigating social environments.
For adults, our occupational therapy for adults focuses on improving interpersonal skills, emotional resilience, and managing social expectations in work or community settings. Our pediatric occupational therapy helps younger clients develop motor planning, self-regulation, and play-based social interaction abilities that are vital in childhood friendships. In addition, our Social Skills Group provides a structured, supportive environment where children can practice perspective taking, cooperative play, and effective communication with peers in real time.
Incorporating social cognitive skill-building into friendship training is essential, especially for children who struggle with intuitive social thinking. By focusing on perspective taking, emotional regulation, nonverbal communication, and conversational reciprocity, we empower children to navigate the complexities of social relationships with greater ease and authenticity. Ultimately, helping children become better friends is not just about teaching them what to do—it’s about helping them understand why these social behaviors matter, and how their actions impact others. Only then can they begin to build and sustain genuine, rewarding friendships.
Contact us now to learn how New Horizons Wellness Services can support your child’s journey toward meaningful social connections.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is it important to teach both behavioral and social cognitive skills when developing friendship skills in children?
Behavioral skills like sharing and taking turns help initiate peer interactions, but social cognitive skills—such as perspective taking and emotional awareness are what sustain and deepen friendships. Without understanding how others think and feel, children may struggle to build genuine, lasting relationships.
How can Occupational Therapy support a child who has difficulty making friends?
Occupational therapy, especially pediatric occupational therapy, helps children develop foundational skills such as self-regulation, emotional control, and social participation through play and structured activities. These skills are essential for engaging appropriately with peers and navigating complex social environments.
What are the benefits of enrolling a child in a Social Skills Group?
A Social Skills Group provides a safe, guided space for children to practice real-time interactions with peers. These groups help children learn how to initiate conversations, read social cues, manage emotions during conflict, and develop the confidence to form meaningful friendships.
Yours in Health,
New Horizons Wellness Services8880 SW Nimbus Ave Suite C.,
Beaverton, OR 97008
- https://g.page/newhws
New Horizons Wellness Services provides a true multidisciplinary approach to mental & physical health treatments for children, adults and families.